SERVICE: THE GREAT REFINEMENT There are so many things that they don’t dare tell you in seminary. I will soon celebrate twenty-one years as an ordained minister. I have been blessed to be ministering full time for all of these years, doing what I truly know I am meant to be doing. It is not a job or a career for me. It is my vocation. It is my life’s purpose that I happen to be paid to do. Though it was a circuitous route to the ministry I have never doubted the intuition that brought me here. I can clearly see that everything that I have been through in my life experience has helped prepare me for this form of service. Things that never made sense
NONE OF MY BUSINESS I was gifted today by a chance encounter with someone who doesn’t like me. Gifted? I am profoundly grateful to be dwelling in a place in consciousness that has realized that what others may think of me is truly none of my business. As a human being with an open and highly sensitive heart, the preference is always to enjoy a loving connection with other inhabitants of this human experience. I am purposeful in how I approach and treat others. My spirituality is one of embodying loving-kindness to the best of my ability. In my personality self, I certainly don’t like everyone. But I am committed to accepting, compassioning, and embracing others in a prayerful place that is imbued with my spiritual nature.
MY EXPANDING WORLD Though growing older is often associated with limitation and a shrinking sphere of experience I am not personally finding that to be the case at all. There are certainly things that I used to be able to do physically that I can no longer do. There were a number of years when I averaged seven to ten dance classes per week while also hoofing it in eight performances of a musical. That seems a long time ago now for sure. My pace may have slowed but I am gratefully more present to what I am choosing to do, and the decreased speed has heightened my attention to the wonders I am sure I used to race right by. I have found that rather than
THE PAIN THRESHOLD It is only in retrospect that I recognize the incredible threshold for pain I seem to have been born with. Or at least so it seems. From this perspective in consciousness I marvel at the decades I spent living in a self-inflicted and agonizing story of diminishment and unworthiness. I literally lived inside of a just out of awareness container of self-reproach and self-loathing. Oddly enough it was so pervasive that it has given me a firm and deep knowing of the power of Grace. The fact that I still managed to have some level of happiness and success is only a God-thing. Of course there is also the issue of heavy self-medicating which is beyond the scope of this reflection. The ability to