My grandmother used to say that she had an hourglass figure, but that most of the sand had run to the bottom.
I so relate.
That does not refer to my physicality. It refers to my incarnation. Having recently added another digit to my age I am keenly aware that I have lived far more years than I will continue to live. I know many people for whom that notion induces stress and even dread.
Not for me.
I feel it as an opportunity. As a wake-up call. As a chance to come off auto-pilot and direct my remaining sand in conscious, creative, and contributing ways. I want to spend my remaining time on this planet leaving it better for my having been here.
Maybe its grandiose. In the grand scheme of things this speck of humanity is here for a brief time and then moves back into the great Reality. In a generation no one will know I was ever here.
Or will they?
Not by name or by story. There will be no fortune or fame. What I will leave are traces of love left in the sands of my time spent here. There will be tracks of struggle that smooth out into gentle waves of resolution. There will remain energy transformed and woundedness transcended. I will leave behind strong, non-violent stands against all forms of bigotry and injustice. I am showing up and speaking out. I will live on in those I have championed who were disenfranchised and dis-empowered.
I want to use my sand to build castles in which everyone is welcome. There will be boundaries for sure. Boundaries of respect, reverence, inclusivity, and civility. Please join me at my table, and feast on the grandeur of human potential. Let’s celebrate what we can do when we chose to share our precious sands. I will honor you even as I ask that you treat others at the table honorably.
With relatively so little sand left I will not waste it on simple concepts or platitudes. Pretense or defense. I want to show up as fully, authentically, powerfully as I possibly can. Prayer is my first language, love is my priority, and peace is my contribution.
I am going to live each day as if the sand may run out before nightfall. I feel no need to run around in frantic doingness. My waning adventure is mostly internal in nature. I want to be revealed at depth and lifted to the highest heights of consciousness. I want to know when I leave this magnificent planet that I fulfilled my destiny. My purpose for being here.
With more sand in the bottom my days and moments are precious. There is urgency, and there is equal part serenity. There are no more mountains to climb or battles to win. I only wish to use the remainder of my sand to build a riser that may lift others up.
There is less sand then when I began to write this missive. Please know these grains are shared with imperfect writing from an open and loving heart.